appilogue

Shake-Shake-Shake

2010-06-28T20:35:00.003-04:00

I learned about Notes From The Universe from Medicinal Marzipan (whose blog should be bookmarked by all!) and have been delighted at the little messages I receive in my inbox, usually upon waking. They've been forcing me to be mindful right out the gate. I'm a fan of fortune cookies and the occasional horoscope, but something about these emails seems infinitely more useful and insightful into my every day life than the typical novelties.

Today's note:
Believe it or not, Jenelle, of all the types of happy, "yeehaa!" and "whoohooo!" that exist, the greatest are those derived from truly helping others.

Especially when you help yourself along the way by choosing approaches that tickle you. It most certainly won't hurt if you have fun, crank up the music, shake-shake-shake, and scarf a new healthy body while you're at it. In fact, maybe we could use your healthy body as we help others....

Shake-shake-shake,
The Universe

Today's note reminded me stop taking myself so seriously all the time. I can be goofy, but in recent weeks and months have seen that part of myself being overshadowed by the Jenelle who talks ad nauseum about her problems and various discontent. It's to the point where I feel like I'm picking out the negative aspects of most situations and discarding the things that would make me laugh under usual circumstances. Life is funny and beautiful and full of things to smile about. I need remember it.

To keep this on topic with my blog, I want to make mention that I'd like to use this approach towards how I exercise. I was complaining to my boyfriend yesterday of the "Sunday Blues" as I call them because weekends are usually so unpredictable, active, and joyful. Often, I feel like Monday begins a sequence routines. Planned meals, planned exercise, full days in a cubicle, straight to bed by eleven. Rinse, repeat. I tend to feel trapped in the cycle and lacking amusement. I think that in the future, I'd like to try taking some classes that push the usual limits of my schedule as well as my concept of exercise. Does anyone have any suggestions to shake-shake-shake things up?

Salmon Cakes

2010-06-24T11:26:00.005-04:00

I've had a can of salmon in my cabinet for about three months. I've been in a bit of a cooking slump lately and attribute it to the ridiculously hot temperatures we've been dealing with in Philadelphia. On Monday, however, I decided to finally put the can of salmon to better use than just haphazardly throwing it on top of a salad. I found a ridiculously simple recipe for Salmon Cakes on epicurious (love this site and iPhone app) and played with it just a little bit. Here's what I came up with.

Ingredients
1 can (14.5 ounces) wild Alaskan salmon
1 1/2 scallions, chopped (divided)
1/4 cup whole-wheat breadcrumbs
1 egg, beaten
1/2 teaspoon curry powder
1 teaspoon olive oil
Handful of fresh basil, chopped

Drain salmon & put in bowl. I used the kind that contains some skin/bones, so I also made sure to pick out any visible/inedible bones. Stir in egg, 1 scallion, breadcrumbs, curry, and basil until thoroughly combined. Form 8 small patties. Heat oil in medium pan over medium heat. Cook patties until light brown (3-4 minutes), flip and cook about 2 minutes more. I served these over fresh spinach tossed in balsamic vinaigrette and sprinkled the rest of the scallions on top.

Summer Vacation: Mom & I excited about the shark in the water about ten feet from us. Really!

And just a little fitness update:
I've been pretty consistent on exercise this week, making it to the gym every day since Monday and adding in some additional at-home workouts. I NEEDED this after getting back from my little family vacation (see above). I tried Harley Pasternak's 5-Factor Fitness workout on ExerciseTV, and am intrigued. I've gotten a bit burnt out on the Shred and have shelved it for the time being. Lately, I've just been having fun trying new things and trying not to make working out feel like a job. Warm weather also tends to encourage me to hop on my bike more often, and I've been enjoying that as always. I got a new bike in May and LOVE riding it. It handles really well in the city and goes a little faster than my old Huffy (which I've lovingly passed down to my mother).

Getting Real

2010-06-21T11:42:00.002-04:00

Truth: I've been avoiding my blog. I've been putting my focus inward because I'm still trying to make peace with my body and these sorts of things are hard to talk about with loved ones let alone the whole internet. But I'm at a point where I feel like perhaps broadcasting my issues might help someone shed some light on issues of their own. My weight loss journey has bred some disordered eating habits in my life. As much as I'd like to tell you all that I reached my goal weight and life was perfect and yours can be too, it just didn't happen that way.

When I started eating less and moving more I was morbidly obese and I found calorie restriction to be something that could potentially save my life. Getting the weight off took little effort and went fast because I was determined not to trip up for fear of slipping back into old unhealthy patterns. That chapter ended two years ago. Since then I've been struggling with life after weight loss. Once I hit my first goal weight, it wasn't enough. Five more pounds. And once I lost that, ten more pounds. Reflecting on how I was treating my body at that time where my weight was plummeting below goal frightens me, to be honest. I was eating far too little and exercising far too often and hit a point where my body just stopped losing. I was hungry for praise and attention for my weight loss and once it stopped I didn't know who I was.

Eventually I decided to learn to love food again. That's about the time I started this blog. I was relatively comfortable around food. I put some of the weight back on and have hovered around goal for some time now, however on bad days, weeks, months, I'd revert back to bouts restricted calories/over-exercise. These bouts were always met by a subsequent binge. The kind of eating where you feel like you can never get enough or there will never be enough. The kind of eating you save for times when you're alone and no one can see you because you've believed that eating was "bad" for so long.

With the binge eating and slight re-gain has come a slew of other issues, body image being one. Despite losing all of that weight, I learned that happiness could not be found in size 8 jeans and I would not learn to love myself just because I didn't have to shop in the plus-size section. I still look in the mirror and pinpoint my flaws rather than my successes.

It's a lot to share, but I guess I just want to stress to others on their weight loss journey to be gentle with themselves, for the consequences of setting your expectations too high or resorting to extremes can lead to a lot of troubles way worse than a few extra pounds. Learn to love your body as it is NOW and health should be easy to achieve. So many shame themselves thin instead of focusing on nourishing and strengthening their bodies. Every day I am working towards fixing my relationship with my body, mind, and (of course) food.

On a lighter note, I feel like this past weekend I've made some significant progress. I took my first dance class yesterday. On a whim, I signed up for a crash course in Argentine Tango. It consists of two 4-hour sessions in which you learn the basic moves of the social dance. Because I still struggle with said body issues and leftover shyness from my obese days, the idea of dancing with strangers had my stomach in knots. This first class took me way out of my comfort zone. Around the second hour I was about ready to give up, but I pushed through my discomfort and at one point a switch went off in my head. I can't explain how connected I felt to my body. There was a new awareness of my arms, my chest and my legs as the music echoed through the studio room. When following, we were encouraged to close our eyes as our partners led us around the dance floor. Once I let go, it felt kind of like I was gliding around. Weightless, even.

Thoughts on Living Large & Feeling Small

2010-04-06T15:21:00.009-04:00

Ganoga Falls @ Ricketts Glen State Park:

These past few weeks have been confusing for me, however as I stood next to a 94 foot waterfall near my hometown last Saturday I had a moment of clarity. I felt small for the first time in weeks. Maybe months. I felt small in size. I felt small in ratio to the nature surrounding me. My problems felt small, too. I just breathed the misty air, listened to the water rushing over the edge, and let everything go.

Last time I checked in here, I was busy. I was eating more, but over-analyzing how much I ate and how much I exercised. All the math and charts on calories in, calories out, grams of this, percents of that were starting to drive my productivity throughout the day down and my stress level up. It all felt very unnatural to me so I decided it's time to just stop for a while. I don't want to plan every morsel and fret over every bite any more. I started reading Geneen Roth's When Food Is Love, which has inspired me to give intuitive eating a try. Eat when you're hungry, don't eat when you're not. I'm trying to pay more attention to what my body is telling me than to what the food scale is telling me and so far it's helped me really appreciate the food I'm eating.

I'm doing a little spring cleaning from the inside out. Intuitive eating is one part of it. The other part is self-love, which I've discussed a bit here. Body image is something that most women struggle with, and I am no exception. I've made a promise to myself not to pick on my reflection from here on out and have been practicing positive affirmations. It's freeing to feel like I'm starting to accept and love the body that I have rather than pine for the body that I want.

Healthy Happy Hiking.

I want to stop trying to perfect my life and start living it as is. All the kinks and wrinkles will smooth themselves out in time - there's no sense in letting the moment pass while worrying about what's to come. Challenging myself physically, nurturing my body, kindling my creativity, connecting with nature and sharing the love that I have to offer are my priorities.

Our hike through Ricketts Glen reminded me of all the places I'd like to travel to and terrains I'd like to conquer. At 24 years old, I can't help but think about all the adventures ahead of me. I find nature so humbling. For example, the waterfall is magnificent, beautiful, and strong and it doesn't even have to try. It just is. I guess in many ways I'd like to be just like that 94 foot waterfall.

Balancing Act

2010-03-17T09:59:00.004-04:00

Please hire me!

Business is picking up for me. For those of you unaware of my occupation, I am a graphic designer. I have a full time design job in New Jersey by day and by night I try to do as much freelance as possible. When the latter business is slow, I find it relatively easy to make time for exercise and cooking. When it's not slow (which is ideal), fitting it all in without going mad is a struggle.

Somehow, exercise so far this month has included:

Tuesday, March 2: Arc Trainer (30 min) + No More Trouble Zones (30 min)
Wednesday, March 3: Arc Trainer (30 min) + Yoga Meltdown (35 min) + Back 2 Bollywood (30 min)
Thursday, March 4: Arc Trainer (30 min) + The Shred (25 min)
Friday, March 5: The Shred (25 min) + Brisk Walk (45 min)
Saturday: REST
Sunday, March 7: Bicycling as transportation (15 minutes) + The Shred (25 min)
Monday, March 8 : Arc Trainer (30 min) + No More Trouble Zones (55 min)
Tuesday, March 9: Banish Fat Boost Metabolism (55 min)
Wednesday, March 10: Arc Trainer (30 min)
Thursday, March 11: The Shred (25 min) + Stationary Bike (30 min)
Friday, March 12: Arc Trainer (30 min) + Hip Hop Cardio (20 min)
Saturday, March 13: REST
Sunday, March 14: REST
Monday, March 15: Arc Trainer (30 min) + The Shred (25 min)
Tuesday, March 16: The Shred (25 min) + Brisk Walk (40 min)

Looking at that recap, I feel pretty good. It looks like most days I get almost an hour of activity in. I'm not sure HOW, since I feel as though I've constantly been behind a computer screen lately.

However, this past week I've had some pain in my right knee as well as my left ankle. It's quite discouraging and I don't want to stop being active. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do that won't put further stress on these areas? I'm feeling like The Shred might be the culprit, though I'm going to switch from the Arc Trainer to the elliptical for a week and see if less impact helps.

Evidence of upping my calories. Meal courtesy of the gentleman.
Disclaimer: This is not my typical breakfast!

I've upped my calories substantially to balance with the exercise and feel like my energy level has improved, so all is well on that front. I'm not weighing myself at the moment to prevent discouragement. I'm eating healthy and feeling good and realize that this is all that matters. Since I started eating more substantial, well-balanced and satisfying meals I've noticed my post-work kitchen raid for snacks has subsided. I'm also a lot nicer to everyone. That's a perk, right?

Reflecting, I feel like I'm doing an OK job at balancing everything out between work and wellness. I need to work on fitting my social life in there, as I've been pretty impossible to hang out with lately. How do you find a balance between everything?

Recipe: Whole Wheat Blueberry Banana Muffins

2010-03-05T16:30:00.005-05:00

I bake a lot for others but for the first time in a very long while I baked something for me to keep in my apartment. I didn't want to go grocery shopping for more food (it's a Sunday ritual of mine - why rock the boat?), and since I have upped my calories a bit I needed some more portable snacks for work. I decided to journey onto dangerous territory and try my hand at self-control. Like Diane at Fit to the Finis h recently posted, I too have had struggles with having "just one" of something I bake. Does anyone else have problems with this?

I successfully kept myself in check, only eating one right after they cooled a bit. I attribute this to the fact that I'm eating more throughout the day. I don't think I have felt the need to stuff myself these past few days because I'm not constantly hungry.

But less about me and more about these muffins! Mark Bittman did a write up a while back on how to make whole wheat muffins more palatable without adding a ton of white sugar. His secrets are a.) use whole wheat pastry flour because it yields lighter results, b.) use a cup of pureed or mashed fruit/vegetable (I opted for banana as I always have some extra ripe ones in my freezer) and c.) don't over mix!

I decided to take his tips and work with them to make the following:

Whole Wheat Blueberry Banana Muffins
Makes 12 muffins

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups whole wheat pastry flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon table salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 egg, beaten
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup vanilla greek yogurt
3 tablespoons olive oil
2 mashed ripe bananas
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup frozen blueberries tossed in a few pinches of flour

Directions:

Preheat oven to 400° and place 12 paper baking cups in muffin pan. Combine flour, baking powder, salt, baking soda and cinnamon in a large bowl.
Mix beaten egg, brown sugar, greek yogurt, oil, banana and vanilla in a separate bowl. I used a hand-mixer here to make sure it was really well combined. Add to flour mixture, stirring until just combined. It is important not to over-stir. Lightly fold in blueberries and divide batter among muffin cups.
Bake for 15-20 minutes or until browned and toothpick inserted in centers comes out clean. Cool in pan for 5 minutes. Remove from pan and cool on wire rack. Serve warm or at room temperature.

The Benefits of Chopsticks and Other Realizations

2010-03-01T16:21:00.003-05:00

I'm still waiting for life to settle down. I thought last week would be calm, but I thought wrong. Threats of snow storms and traveling from here to there have kept me busy. Because of this, my dinners have not been glamorous. I am the type of person who will throw random things in pots and pans and eat whatever comes out of it as long as it's warm and satisfying.

My go-to this week has been veggie stir fry.

I tend to eat dinner with chopsticks because it forces me to eat slower and, therefore, more mindfully. I almost never finish everything in the bowl when eating with them mostly because I can't get at all the little bits in the bottom!

All I do is fire up my non-stick skillet, heat up some oil, throw in some chopped veggies (carrots, broccoli, green beans, edamame and mushrooms in this case) and vegetable stock and let it all cook. I then add a few drizzles of soy sauce and sesame oil, serve it over some brown rice and sprinkle some sesame seeds on top. This particular night I also added in a scrambled egg for protein. I rely a lot on those, but have decided to start cooking more meat at home. I'm taking baby steps back into this and bought a fillet of salmon that I'll experiment with this week. I was eying up the organic chicken last night at the grocery store but I'm going to see how the salmon goes first.

This past weekend was pretty interesting. I was able to work out with my mom for the first time maybe ever. We did Jillian Michaels' Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism workout in its entirety and we were laughing almost the entire time. The next morning we were also able to do Level 1 of The Shred. It's really amazing to see my mom, at 51-years-old, so fit and able to keep up with these DVDs. I can only hope to be as in shape as she is at her age. She was giving me a run for my money during some of the exercises.

Mom During Cool Down

There was also a downside to my weekend and the past week in general. Though I've been successfully strict with my activity levels, I have been lax on eating again. For a while I was eating around 1200 calories/day, but I don't think it is sustainable and began going overboard on anything I could get my hands on at home (especially carbohydrates). I'd come home from work and lose control before I even ate dinner. To prevent this from continuing to happen, I've decided to cut myself some slack and be more realistic with my diet, bumping my calorie-intake up to about 1400/day.

At the end of the day, I need to remember that I'm not trying to lose weight - I'm trying to get fit. And if I'm not fueling my body correctly, there's no way it's going to be able to keep up.

Watch: Sharing my Story with WBRE-TV News

2010-02-22T20:45:00.009-05:00

My Dad on TV! Click the photo to see the video.

A few days ago my dad got word from a Wilkes-Barre news station that they wanted to do a piece on my weight loss success and involvement in the Oz 100. He called to ask if I thought it would be OK and enthusiastically told him to go for it. I wouldn't be able to make it in to be interviewed because of my work schedule, however the reporter decided to interview my parents about my weight loss journey.

I find this so very fitting, especially since their names pop up so often in this blog. Watching my dad talk about his diabetes on TV got me all choked up, but it wasn't because I worry about his health. It was from pride. I know he can and has taken control of it and I am so happy to have been able to show him little things along the way that might have helped him.

The segment was very well put together. I'm so glad that they were able to show both the Dr. Oz book and PeerTrainer. I'm also glad that they were able to gather from my blogs that this weight loss venture of mine is not fueled by vanity but by the desire for health, inside and out.

After watching the segment online I talked to my mom and dad about it and, of course, thanked them for the kind words. A few weeks ago my dad forwarded a message from a woman he knows named Pat who's got some weight-related health problems. She heard my story and saw me on The Dr. Oz show and vowed to my dad that she'd lose weight too. Tonight my father happily informed me that she had lost 4 lbs this week and wanted me to know. I just want to say way to go Pat and keep it up!

I am amazed every single day by these sorts of reactions and responses. I'd like to continue on this journey and celebrate my successes with everyone in hopes it gives them the courage to find their own success as well.

Please note that I've added a new formspring widget to the right of my blog entries inviting anyone to anonymously ask me whatever question they'd like. I'll try my best to answer them all!

PS: Tomorrow I'll have a food post, I swear ;-)

Give Me a Break

2010-02-21T16:17:00.003-05:00

This past Friday I took my first scheduled "rest day" since the beginning of January. Somehow I managed to fit in some sort of physical activity for 47 days straight. My minimum daily exercise has been the 25 minutes it takes to do a level of the Shred, but for many (especially weekdays) I've been incorporating an additional 30 minutes of intense cardio at the gym. I hesitated a little when declaring this day of rest. Part of it, I'm sure, was fear of breaking a good habit. I don't want this rest day to lead to inconsistency. I'm learning, however, that rest is important both physically and mentally. On Thursday, after 15 or so miles on the stationery bike my body was telling me "ENOUGH". Earlier that morning I had a headache, a stomachache, a small cough and a general feeling of fatigue. I could barely make it through my 6 am Level 1 Shredding. I've read enough articles and blog posts on overtraining to know it was time to stop before I hurt myself.

The day off felt good, but it was great to get back into it last night after returning from a short trip to Central PA. I did Level 2 of the Shred, ate lots of veggies for dinner, and went to bed super early. Today I managed to fit in Jillian Michaels' Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism in it's entirety (55 minutes including warm up and cool down!). Had I not had a day off, I'm sure my body would not have been happy with that work out. I think what it boils down to is that we can take care of ourselves in many ways. I can push myself to become stronger, but I also need to be sure I'm rewarding my body with proper rest. I don't think I'm going to let myself go another 47 days without it and hope to be able to incorporate one day of relaxation in every 7-14 days. Has anyone learned the importance of rest the hard way? How many rest days do you give yourselves?

I also want to add a quick thanks to everyone who's been sending such kind words of support my way after my involvement in the "Oz 100". It's really amazing to me to see people responding to that particular episode so positively. I finally got a chance to watch the whole thing and couldn't help but get choked up during a few of the segments. It reminded me again of who I once was versus who I am now. The new me was always inside, but losing weight really helped me bring that part of me out. Visiting York this past weekend—the town where I hit rock bottom and reached my heaviest weight—I passed countless fast food restaurants, convenience stores, diners, and donut shops where I so often fed my emotions. I felt such an enormous disconnect from that life I used to lead. That girl would never dream she would one day be sitting in the studio audience representing weight loss success. But there I was, and here I am and I couldn't be happier.

My Dr. Oz Experience

2010-02-17T11:55:00.007-05:00

Life has been hectic, to say the least. This past week has been AMAZING. On Tuesday, my mom and I took the train to NYC for the taping of Dr. Oz's 100th episode. By the time we got to the hotel, unpacked, and grabbed dinner we were too tired to do anything else and simply watched LOST and got some well-deserved rest. We woke up bright and early at 5:30 am to start getting ready for the taping. I ran over to Starbucks for a coffee and some food for us and, by chance, ran into Sarah from The Weight It Is. It was so wonderful to meet her in person. Her story is so inspiring, as she's lost and kept off 185 lbs.

Everyone met in the lobby of the hotel to wait for our shuttle bus to Rockefeller Plaza. I met a man named Ray who had lost over 100 lbs and his daughter who was his +1 and had also lost a substantial amount of weight. This was only the beginning, as in the hours leading up to the taping we had more than enough time to mingle with the other "Oz 100." I met a runner, a woman who had been on Oprah, a personal trainer, a woman who blogs for Dr. Oz, and countless other people with unique stories to go along with their successes. All of us had taken control of and actively changed our lives, regardless of how different the methods and roads we took to get there were. I felt this energy that I can't really describe.

Looking interested on National Television!

They piled us into the studio for the taping. It was a lot smaller than I had expected, and certainly much brighter. The lights were blinding! They seated me and three other young brunettes in the front row (including Sarah, pictured above), which we decided was not by coincidence. I kept looking for my mom and at one point looked over and realized they had given her an Oz 100 shirt and put her in the back of the group of "losers" as filler. She looked slightly uncomfortable, but I couldn't stop looking over at the huge smile on her face. You see, Dr. Oz's books helped her find the strength to finally quit smoking after 30 years right around the time I started tackling my weight loss. This was a big day for her, too.

The show itself was a blur. My cheeks hurt from smiling so much, but it was genuine. I was so happy. So in my element. The featured guests (including the gorgeous Diane from Fit to the Finish) had such inspiring stories and I found so much I could relate to in them. Merrill talked about how the weight loss changed her life and I was right there with her. There's not way to fully describe how a physical transformation like 100 lb weight loss truly affects you. You're really reborn and renewed.

Did I also mention that THE Richard Simmons was there? OH MY GOD. He is amazing. This man has more energy than I've ever seen a human possess. He's so positive and full of life and trust me, it's not just for the cameras. He was even MORE energetic off camera (if you think it's even possible). When he came out and we gave him a standing ovation he started getting teary-eyed. I think it was then that it really clicked what we had all done and how getting us all together could inspire hundreds more to do it too. After all the segments, we piled onstage and danced with Richard. It was admittedly silly, but it brought back memories of Sweating to the Oldies with my sister-in-law Sue as I desperately tried (and failed and tried and failed) to lose weight as a teenager. I wished she could be there with me, because she's doing it too. She keeps me going. So Sue, if you're reading this, know you were right there with me on that stage with Richard while we danced to "Hit the Road, Jack"!

Beaming after the show with my new Richard Simmons DVD and mystery smoothie.

After the show, we were shuttled to a new hotel due to the blizzard that was brewing up here in the Northeast. Mom and I took advantage of the city for the rest of the day and attended a taping of the David Letterman Show (!!) followed up by our first Broadway show, Wicked. Does it get much better than that? We had an amazing trip and I feel like I really shared something special with my mom. It was nice to have a few girls' days.

Mom in front of the David Letterman Show

Overall, this experience will be something I remember for my entire life. The people I met, the stories I heard, and the way that I felt.. these are things I will remember when I feel like I'm slipping. Each day is a new day and why NOT make the best of it?

Off to See Dr. Oz!

2010-02-07T18:14:00.007-05:00

On Friday morning I caught up on blog posts I had missed over the weekend. One in particular caught my attention at Fit to the Finish. I love Diane's blog and was so excited about the news she shared about appearing on the Dr. Oz show next week. Part of me, however, was slightly jealous. I had been talking to Jackie at PeerTrainer after she had posted a blog entry seeking out PT members who had lost over 100 lbs. I of course responded to her call for losers and she sent my information in. I hadn't heard anything up until Friday and, after reading Diane's post at Fit to the Finish, I had decided it wasn't going to happen.

A few hours later after I had hit the gym I got a phone call from a Manhattan phone number. I was at my cubicle, so I didn't answer right away but instead let it go to my voicemail and listened to the message. It was someone from the Dr. Oz show! I nearly jumped out of my desk chair and ran out to my car to call them back only to get their voicemail. Eventually I got a call back from someone at the show who informed me she was calling to make travel and hotel arrangements. I couldn't believe it and was so overwhelmed that I could barely think of what train station I'd need to leave from.

So, this Wednesday I am going to be in New York City and, from what I gather, will be 1 of 100 people in the audience on the Dr. Oz show who has lost 100+ lbs. This is all the info I could find about the episode, which will air on February 16th as far as I understand:

On Tuesday, February 16th, "The Dr. Oz Show" celebrates a milestone 100th episode with fitness guru Richard Simmons! Dr. Oz provides 100 tips to 100 audience members who have lost 100 pounds or more. While Simmons, who shed over 100-pounds himself, will share his own story. (source)

I asked my mom to come with me, as I know what a huge part of her success with quitting smoking Dr. Oz was. She did this right around the time I decided to lose weight and it was right after we had both read YOU on a Diet. On Tuesday afternoon we're leaving Philly for NYC and I am so excited to see what this will all be about. I'm enthusiastic about the idea of being in a room with 99 other people who have been through something similar. I'm also excited that I'll be one of one hundred people who can help prove to America that there is no magic solution or expensive operation for weight loss. It's about diet. It's about exercise. It's about caring about ourselves. No amount of weight is ever too much to lose, be it 50, 100, or 200 lbs. It's possible and I'm so honored to be part of a group that stands as proof of that.

See you on TV everyone!

Day 30: Completion

2010-02-02T23:25:00.004-05:00

It's hard to believe it's been thirty whole days since I decided to take on this challenge. Not only did I focus on shredding daily, but I've successfully gotten my eating under control and am enthusiastically hitting the gym most weekdays. I've been pushing myself hard and seeing results. Speaking of which, here's a final glimpse at the changes I've made physically.

The following is a photo of Day 1 vs. Day 30 to get a complete look at where I started and where I am today.

My midsection is a lot more defined and I'm also seeing more definition around the muscles in my arms. You can't tell in this photo, but I've also noticed some muscle toning in my thighs/legs. All in all, an amazing success. I kind of wish I had been circuit training throughout my entire weight loss process. I'm sure my body would look completely different.

The following is a photo of all my "check in" days.

There's not a huge visual difference in the Day 20 and Day 30 photo, though I'm wearing the same shirt and it's visibly baggier on me. While doing double jump ropes the other morning I realized that I needed new workout pants as mine were nearly falling off.

My final measurements were pretty nuts. I measured about four times to make sure they were correct:

I didn't lose any weight in the past ten days, but I'm OK with that. The scale's not moving for a reason I'm sure. But my clothes fit WAY differently.

Today was technically Day 31 for me. Despite being "finished" I woke myself at 6am and tried Level 1 with heavier weights as well as some weighted cardio. I plan on doing the same tomorrow. What can I say, Shredding seems to be my new habit. And it's a good one at that.

In thirty days I re-learned how to respect myself and my body. I made the most of my time and I am confident that it shows. But what's next? I'm so excited to see what's lies beyond Day 30. I'm waiting for a few more Jillian DVDs as well as Biggest Loser's Last Chance Workout and Weight Loss Yoga. I also want to start running again in the spring.

It's only the beginning!

Day 25: Ups/Downs

2010-01-27T22:00:00.004-05:00

I'm going to go out on a limb and post from my heart here. I woke up this morning thinking today would be a relatively calm day compared to the sorts of days I've had thus far this week. I've got a lot on my plate in a lot of different areas of my life right now. Photography, design work, fitness, my 9-5 job, along with the miscellany of day-to-day life such as keeping up with relationships, cooking, commuting, etc got me all wrapped into a big bundle of nerves.

My big struggle lately has been one with the idea of perfection. I am slowly learning that if I am doing a lot of different things, it is most important to do these things consistently well and perhaps not as important to ensure I'm doing them all perfectly. I don't think it's possible and I need to stop feeling guilty for not reaching perfection on a daily basis. Being the best that I can be at something is all that should matter. Right after returning home from a long day and night, however, I was completely lacking the sense to put a thought like this together. Nothing was going right.

My reaction to this a few months ago would be to bake some cookies or muffins to give away, sneakily downing one or two or three before doing so. I'm a notorious stress-baker. Today, however, I popped in the Shred and sweated all my issues out. Shadowboxing never felt so good. Exercise is the perfect "me" time. You are focused and in tune with your body. It is one of the most selfish things you can do. An act of self-love more powerful than any bubble bath or piece of chocolate.

Feeling better after this, I called my parents (whom I talk about a lot on here) to chat about some good news I had received this evening right after my work out. My dad had good news, too. He went ahead and informed me of a discussion he had with a nutritionist he's been talking to on the phone. My father is diabetic and has to closely monitor his blood sugar, etc. The nutritionist grilled him on his activity level and diet. My father told him about how he and my mom started the Shred, so they are effectively working out twenty minutes every day. Cardio, strength, abs. He also told him about what sorts of food he's been eating. Lean proteins, whole grains, veggies. The nutritionist was impressed and my dad went ahead and told him what I had done and how I had sort of passed on what knowledge I picked up along the way onto him and my mom. The nutritionist told Dad that these changes he's made in regards to his health could very well have saved his life and told him to pass the message on to me.

I had no words. Regardless of how fantastic the news I had received earlier was, nothing could possibly be better and more humbling than this. My only reaction was tears (which has been my reaction to most things this evening, both good and bad.) My dad boasted about his blood sugar reading after dinner tonight. He is in control of his disease. I am ecstatic.

Life is short and we should really live it out to the best of our abilities. We should be good to ourselves first. Everything else good seems to follow.

Day 20: Level 2 Results

2010-01-22T18:55:00.004-05:00

I did it! I finished Level 2. It wasn't easy and it wasn't pretty, but I did it. I woke up at 6am to finish it so I could carry on with my Friday night without rushing around after work. I have to say that the plank exercises got easier but were by no means easy at the end. My favorite part of the level was the Military Press. Watching Natalie lose her balance while I solidly stood with burning arms on one foot made me feel good about myself. I see a bit more definition in my waist and tush. I also have muscles in my arms that I didn't know I had.

My measurements shifted down quite a bit, too:

Additionally, I seemed to have lost another 2lbs, bringing my total Shred weight loss to 4lbs.

I'm so excited about the results I've had with this and I'm pretty sure this excitement has spread a bit amongst people I know. My mom and dad are starting the Shred tomorrow. That to me, is better than any pound or inch that this takes off my body. Since they're loyal readers, I just want to tell them good luck and FOLLOW ANITA.. PLEASE!

My next results post will be for Day 30. I'm terrified of Level 3, but I know I can handle it. Bring it, Jillian!

Does anyone have any tips on Level 3?

Day 16: Progress

2010-01-18T22:45:00.004-05:00

I've finally made it to the latter half of The 30 Day Shred, however it is by no means the home stretch. The past 16 days have helped me find some of the confidence I thought I had lost over the past months while dealing with stress eating, etc. The sense of accomplishment I feel every day for fitting in some sort of exercise has been bleeding into other areas of my life. I've been approaching things differently and thinking more positively. I think it's because I've a newfound respect for myself.

This daily exercise, I should mention, has been anything but easy. On day 11, when I popped in my DVD and started on Level 2 I was convinced I'd have to go back and just continue with Level 1. But I kept on trucking. Though the Level 2 workouts still have me on the floor in a ball of panting, sweaty exhaustion at the end, I'm finding getting through them less of a challenge here on Day 16 as opposed to Day 11. I don't think planks will ever be easy, but they don't hurt anymore. I've been focusing most of my attention on form. Thankfully it's improved, which I can only assume makes the workout that much more effective.

I've been eating well, to boot. Meal planning has been my greatest tool. I pretty much know what I'm going to eat for breakfast, lunch, and sometimes dinner throughout the week. I've also been plotting out snacks to prevent vending machine regrets and baking on impulse. Is anyone else a stickler for planning? Has it worked for you, too?

Tonight I made some wheat berry and lentil soup that should last me through the rest of the week and thensome. It's a satisfying meal and it tastes good, too. I found the recipe here.

I feel ready to reach my health goals in 2010. How is everyone out there feeling about theirs?

Recipe: Easy Vegan Chocolate Pudding

2010-01-12T22:58:00.002-05:00

This chocolate pudding is delicious and dairy-free (and low-calorie!).

Ingredients:
2 cups unsweetened almond milk
1/4 cup raw sugar
2 tbsp cornstarch or arrowroot
2 tbsp cocoa
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Instructions:
Serves Four.
Place the almond milk, sugar, cocoa and cornstarch in a small saucepan and cook over medium heat, whisking often, for 2-3 minutes or until thickened. Remove saucepan from heat and whisk in vanilla extract. Pour into 4 small cups or serving bowls & cover with parchment paper or plastic wrap to prevent skin from forming. Chill for at least 1 hour in fridge before serving. Will keep 3-5 days.

Nutrition Info (per serving):
Calories: 74, Fat: 1.5g, Sodium: 90mg, Carbohydrates: 15g, Fiber: 1.2g, Sugars: 8.8g, Protein: 1g

Day 10: Level 1 Results

2010-01-12T22:30:00.006-05:00

I've finally completed Level 1 of The 30 Day Shred and I can see some differences in my body. The first level was difficult, but the soreness went away completely by about Day 4. I'm anxious to see what Level 2 has in store. Please note that, in addition to daily shred-sessions I have been working out at the gym. Last week I worked out every week day for 30 minutes on the elliptical at high resistance. I have also been logging and watching my calories. My rule of thumb is simple. Eat when you're hungry. Don't eat when you're not.

I lost two pounds thus far. I also took my measurements on Day 1 and Day 10. Here are the results:

I've been following shredheads on twitter for motivation. If you're interested in keeping up with me on twitter, you can find me here.

Day 6: Breaking the Cycle

2010-01-08T11:33:00.004-05:00

At 6 am my alarm went off. I swiftly ceased the obnoxiously loud old-timey ringing my iPhone was emitting and popped out of my warm and comfy bed onto the cold hardwood floors. As I walked down the hallway, the little devil on my shoulder said "Go back to sleep. You can work out later", and for about two seconds that was the plan. Then realized that if I didn't do it, I'd feel guilty. And guilt tends to be the first step in the wrong direction. Guilt leads to eating which leads to overeating which leads to excuses which leads to more guilt. So I slipped on my leggings and sneakers and set up shop to tackle Day 6 of the Shred before the sun even came up.

My tired body cracked in all sorts of places, but by the end of it I was wide awake and sweaty (and more than half way done with Level 1!). I don't know if it's just my mind or what, but I really feel like my body is responding to all of this working out. I've managed to make it to the gym every day this week, and even bumped up my cardio time from 25 minutes to 30. My clothes fit a tad better, I'm walking stronger, I'm eating well. I haven't slipped up yet, but understand it could happen (and that's OK!).

I took some advice from MizFit and started filling in my calendar with what exercises I did and a drew a little smiley face on good days (I'm six for six right now!). I think tracking this sort of progress in plain view is encouraging. I've also been really meticulous about updating my food and activity log at PeerTrainer. I've also been checking in with my mom and dad to see how they're doing with their fitness goals. My mom informed me that she's been pushing herself on the treadmill and elliptical every evening and my dad's been walking more, too. Knowing I'm helping to keep them going keeps me going.

I feel really positive about this first week of 2010. It's been an experiment in breaking the cycle and pushing my limits. I hope to continue this throughout the rest of the year. I'm determined and I know I can do it.

Shredder

2010-01-04T22:13:00.004-05:00

As mentioned in my last post, I started Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred on Sunday. I plan on weighing in and checking my measurements after completing the first ten days of Level 1. I'll do the same for Levels 2 (Day 20) and 3 (Day 30). But what after Day 30? Being against the idea of dieting and quick fixes, I've already decided that after this I'm going to continue incorporating workout DVDs into my schedule in addition to gym visits. I purchased Jillian's Banish Fat, Boost Your Metabolism DVD the same day I picked up 30 Day Shred. That's a 40 minute video, so I'm thinking it'll be a little more challenging. Hopefully after these 30 Days, I'll also still feel compelled to incorporate Levels 1, 2, and 3 into my daily routine moving into the future.

I'm feeling really optimistic about this and hope that I get the results I'm looking for. Having some sort of goal in mind has seemed to help me stay on track with my eating habits. Today I confronted platters of cookies, crackers, chocolate and other nasties in the office kitchen on my first day back to work but successfully avoided them. I think that the lingering muscle soreness from Day 1 reminded me of how hard I am and will be working to reach my goals. Today marks two days of clean, mindful eating.

Speaking of which, tonight I prepared some vegetable soup for dinner to offset the bitterly cold weather we've been having. I found the recipe on Dr. Oz's Real Age site, which has oodles and oodles of great, easy, healthy recipes. Because I dine alone, the recipe yielded enough for me to eat this all week. I might even need to freeze some. Red lentils are fantastic because they cook up so easily and pack such a mean nutritional punch. You can find the recipe for this soup by following this link, which also displays nutritional information.

I look forward to making this week a success. One step at a time.

Hello 2010

2010-01-03T18:34:00.007-05:00

I woke up this morning with big ideas in my head. After two weeks of using the holidays as an excuse for poor eating habits and sporadic exercising I had the same feeling of renewal that many people get at this time of the year. January is the perfect time for new beginnings and I'm ready to start fresh with the rest of the world. I am not as fit as I can be and I'm determined to make it happen through. The following things are what I want to REALLY focus on not just this month or this year, but forever.

1. Exercise. I plan to continue hitting the gym at least 3-4 times per week, getting in some good solid cardio. In addition, this morning I purchased Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred DVD and am vowing to make time for it every day for the next 29 days so-help-me-god. It's an intense 25-minute workout, but I can make time for it. The week of Christmas was so busy that I could barely get any workouts in and I saw an extreme change in my overall mood. Not only is exercise good for my body, but it's good for my psyche. This is something I need to remember on lazy days. There is always time, you just have to make it.

2. Eating. I love food. Food food food. I think about it all day. I like cooking and baking and dining out. Lately, however, my relationship with food has taken a nosedive. I've found myself mindlessly munching on whatever I can get my hands on in the kitchen cabinets. I've been baking when I'm lonely or stressed and have had one too many test cookies. I haven't been nourishing myself the way that I know that I should. Too much sugar has made its way into my diet again due to the onslaught of Christmas cookies and pies in conjunction with the stress that comes along with this time of year. My body deserves better. More vegetables. More lean proteins. More fiber. Less fat. Less empty carbohydrates. Less sugar. I'm going to pledge to myself not to let cravings win this year, especially not while I'm working so hard at the gym.

3. Loving myself. Acceptance is hard enough, but learning to really love myself is the goal here. Stress-eating and laziness are part of a vicious cycle whose root is self-esteem (or lack thereof). I've worked so hard to be where I am today and I need to stop stressing so much about who I want to be/who I used to be and focus on who I am. There are no excuses. Today is all that matters.

So here's to the beginning of a new decade—one in which I hope to find true inner and outer strength.

A Side of Confidence

2009-12-28T23:44:00.003-05:00

This Christmas my thoughtful brother George and his thoughtful (and shrinking!) wife Sue gave me some new workout clothes. Let me tell you, nothing gets me motivated quite like shiny new sportswear. Typically I'm the girl at the gym with the oversized sweaty black tee and pants intentionally purchased a size too large, but this new ensemble forced me to show myself off today. I'm not perfect... but is anyone really? I think I looked pretty OK for a girl who used to weigh almost 300 lbs. It was nice to look in the mirror (especially after Christmas!) and actually feel good about what I saw. I had a little extra pep in my step on the elliptical. Surely I had to burn one or two extra calories for exuding self-confidence.

Here's hoping everyone is having a safe, happy, and healthy holiday! I plan on really trying to keep up with this blog in 2010. Until then..!

2009, in photos and words

2009-12-11T14:28:00.002-05:00

I reflect on 2009 as one of my favorite years to date. It was my first full year at goal weight and I can truly see how my life has been transformed by my weightloss. However, I want to focus on things that happened outside of that part of me, so here's a brief visual summary of my adventures.

January

2009 was a clean slate. No joke. I worked on wiping it clean all throughout December and somehow emerged a new person once the clock struck midnight. I was uncertain but optimistic about what this year would bring. I spent the month learning be alone and looking inward so I could move forward. I did.

February

A month of firsts. Josh and I went on our first date at the end of January and by Valentine's Day we decided to we'd call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. After spending January convincing myself I needed this time alone I was completely caught off-guard by Josh. Everything felt right immediately. This really was a magical month.

March

I think that March is when my love affair with Philadelphia began. I got called to Jury Duty this month and was picked for a trial that lasted a week and a half. I woke up early in the mornings and waited for the El to take me to City Hall. I wandered Reading Terminal and discovered new things about the city on my lunch breaks. After this experience, I felt totally ready to explore on my own.

April

I purchased my bike this month and got up the courage to ride it in the city. It was a triumph of sorts, as I was positive I'd be too nervous to actually do it. I'll never forget the feeling I got when zooming past cars sitting in traffic while I test rode my Huffy (later dubbed "Betty").

May

Picnics and craft fairs. Getting lost and found in the city. Farmers' markets. Sunshine. May was quite a lovely month. I feel I really capitalized on the city's offerings and got to see a lot more of it up close and personal because of my new bicycle. Also: Josh and I went to see Animal Collective together, which was so very fantastic. I had purchased the tickets back in January before we had met in hopes I'd have someone to go with me.

June

Hot, uncomfortable June. I refused to install an air conditioner because I was rarely home. With Josh on summer vacation, most of my time was spent at his apartment (which has central air). I dealt with a lot of stress this month with Rosemary my cat. The uncertainty of where I'd be living after my lease was up in combination with some money struggles made for a taxing month.

July

There were lots of summery things involved in July. I was happy again, having figured out my moving plans so I enjoyed the month. We spent the fourth in my hometown and then I went on a family vacation to Myrtle Beach at the end of the month. Mom, Dad and I went parasailing at the beach, which is something I'd never dream of doing at my heaviest. I ran on the beach with my brother and took a bike ride when I needed some alone time. By this point in the year I had realized I needed "me" time to be happy. This is something I didn't have much of in 2008, and in 2009 it became so very precious. My beach trip with the first half of my two week vacation extravaganza, which continued in August.

August

The latter half of my vacation was, of course, Portland. It was my first flight (more firsts!) and first trip with Josh. It was the sort of trip that changes your perspective on things a bit. My favorite part was the nature. This particular photo, however, was taken on our stop at Skidmore Bluffs where we watched the sun set over the train yards and Willamette River. Again, I challenged myself to do and try things I've never done before. Upon my return to Philly, I moved into my new apartment. I feel like this is really where the slate was clean from 2008. I was so happy with my new life and ready for more new things to experience.

September

My entire family spent September waiting anxiously for the arrival of our new family member, who decided to bless us with his presence on September 27th. His name is Harrison Wayne and he was the complete star of the year for the Rittenhouse clan. We all love him so much.

October

I happily turned 24 this month and found much to be thankful for since my 23rd birthday. I celebrated with so many new friends that are all wonderful. Freelance picked up this month and it flew by so fast. I cherished my downtime, but was glad to have something so productive to keep me occupied.

November

Philly Tweed Ride was a highlight of the month. It's something I would never have joined in on a year previous. I swapped the tweed for a big red bridesmaid gown for my cousin's wedding in the middle of the month. It was sort of surreal to see my childhood best friend all grown up and saying her vows. Seeing my brother as such a great father has also been eye-opening as to how mature we've all become. The month ended with a bang, as we had an unconventional Thanksgiving involving an ER visit and some supermarket take out. I think all in all, it made me appreciate my family even more.

December

We're not very far into the month and I can tell already it's going to be busy. I'm not sure how to define it yet. We'll see how the holidays go. I've been very reflective and happy with how this year's turned out. It's safe to say it's one of the best. I feel so lucky and loved and optimistic for 2010.

Comfort Food and Part-Time Vegetarianism

2009-12-04T11:56:00.006-05:00

'Tis the season for sharing home-cooked meals! After Thanksgiving weekend's indulgences, including turkey, I decided to cook up some vegan chili to share with my boyfriend on Top Chef night (Go Kevin!).

I threw together some chili and opted to serve it on top of polenta. I never really thought to do this with chili, as it's always been a bit of a standalone meal for me. The addition, however. added another dimension of texture and flavor to the meal. Being nutrient-dense, comforting, and quick I suggest this meal after a long, cold day.

Ingredients:
1 onion, diced
2 T olive oil
2 t chili powder
1 t salt
15 oz can of diced tomatoes
15 oz can of kidney beans, drained
15 oz cooked lentils
1 c corn
1/2 c vegetable stock
1 c diced cilantro

Directions:
In a large lidded pot, saute onion in olive oil until soft. Add salt and chili powder and cook for an additional minute. Add tomatoes, kidney beans, lentils and corn and let simmer until hot (about ten minutes). Add vegetable stock as needed if it's too thick for your liking. Stir in cilantro and serve over prepared polenta.

I ate leftovers for lunch the next day and it was even better so make sure you save some!

Sidenote: On the subject of vegetarianism—or, in my case, pescetarianism—I've fallen of the wagon. I still do not consume any beef products, but have slowly been re-introducing other meat into my diet when dining out or eating with family. I still cook vegetarian at home and would say that I eat a vegetarian diet about 90% of the time, but am no longer restricting myself from the occasional slice of bacon here or Thanksgiving turkey there. I lost all of my weight while consuming lean meats regularly, so don't think this will affect my maintenance. It might even be a good thing as it'll add a little more protein and perhaps prevent me for over-doing it on carbs. I don't feel like I need to justify my decision, but I do feel like I should make it known that I am no longer able to be labeled (which is a relief!).

YOU turn

2009-10-21T10:48:00.002-04:00

If there's one thing I learned in Dr. Oz's YOU on a Diet, it's that nobody's perfect. No diet is perfect. Sometimes you stray or go off-track, but there's always a route back to the road you were on.

A few weeks ago, I decided to make a YOU turn after a dress fitting that went horribly. I haven't gained a lot of weight, but I was making excuses for the little extra pudge I saw hanging out in my mid-section and most definitely my face. I decided to re-assess and re-evaluate my eating and fitness habits. Life is a series of causes and effects. One red flag for me was eating out at lunch. When I eat out at lunchtime, I don't go to the gym at lunchtime. I prefer lunch workouts because I have no real excuse not to go. I'm still full of energy at that time of day unlike after work when I'm hungry and tired. So I set a goal of getting to the gym at least 4/5 days a week. This ensures that I'm also eating my planned lunches 4/5 days a week.

I also made a few more minor adjustments to my diet. I cut out night snacking completely. The only thing I allow myself after dinner on weeknights is broccoli which can hardly be called a snack food. Additionally, this means that I'm cutting back on baking because it's too much temptation at the moment. I have also cracked down on my water consumption (or lack thereof!). Hydration is key in weight management. Often we confuse thirst with hunger and eat instead of drink. I've been downing 64+ oz every day and it feels great.

Another thing I've re-introduced was logging my food. I stopped because I thought I was getting to be pretty good at estimating calories etc. I've started back up consistently at PeerTrainer and have also been using the LoseIt App on my iPhone (I love it! The little graphs are so very encouraging!).

It's been a little over two weeks since my restart and I've already dropped over five pounds of what I can only assume is water weight. My pants are fitting me better. I can see my cheekbones again. I look forward to stepping on the scale in the morning. It's a good feeling that I forgot about.

I turned 24 last week, and would love to reach my goal of 140 lbs by my 25th birthday. I can definitely do this if I just keep working at it. I'll be sure to keep this blog updated.

Here and There

2009-08-26T16:37:00.005-04:00

This past month has been wonderfully busy. Relaxing and running on the beach, biking and eating my way through Portland, boxing up my belongings and putting them all back together in my new apartment and squeezing all the fun I can out of summer as it winds down into what is sure to be a similarly busy autumn and winter.

Because of all the madness, I have been eating out much more than usual. Some food highlights:

Crabs in South Carolina from Harrelson's Seafood. Dad and I went on a hunt for whole fresh crabs while staying at the condo near Myrtle Beach. I asked two teenage boys at a produce stand (where I bought the juiciest peach I've eaten) if they knew where we could find them and they tipped us off on this little fish market at Murrell's Inlet. This was my first time cleaning the insides of crabs and, though I sustained minor injury, it was worth the hard work.

Stumptown Coffee in Portland, Oregon. House made udon, waffle sandwiches, vegan cupcakes, mountains of Pad Thai, sustainable sushi, sweet potato pancakes, vegan pizza... We planned our days around food in Portland. However, nearly every morning we woke up and walked up the hill to Freshpot where we jotted down notes for the day over a hot cup of Stumptown Coffee. Smooth and strong and perfectly brewed. I left the city with the inability to continue happily consuming Starbucks' muck (and a bag of fresh roasted beans to hold me over until my Stumptown Coffee subscription kicks in).

Oregon's bounty. Everything is so perfectly fresh in the Northwest. We drove out along the Columbia River Scenic Byway (Mt. Hood.. wow) and stopped at Cody Orchards Market, where we bought fresh cherries, pears, apricots and apple cider. We also checked out a co-op in the city, finding healthy, local and fresh snacks after a long walk in Washington Park.

Upon returning from vacation, I immediately moved into a new apartment. My fridge was empty and my cookware was packed, so more eating out ensued. After a long break from cooking and baking, it felt so wonderful to turn the stove back on. Though I did a good job of eating well while on vacation, there's something about making my own food that puts me at ease. Just yesterday I made Thai Style Corn Pancakes, a recipe that I found in (again) How To Cook Everything Vegetarian. I made a few substitution, cut back on oil and enjoyed these little cakes with a side of Tofutti Sour Cream. I found a recipe for this blogged at Recession Recipes

Thankfully I was able to keep active throughout both trips. In SC I was able to run on the beach, swim in the ocean and go for a few bike rides. In OR, we rented bikes for a few days and relied on them for transportation. My legs felt like jello after the first day. We also did a lot of walking and hiking. As we were hiking up to the top of Multnomah Falls, I kept thinking about how before the weightloss what I was doing would have been absolutely impossible. This made our arrival at the top that much more triumphant.

Hiking is interesting for someone who has undergone a body transformation of sorts. I still feel like my center of balance is not exactly what it should be. I also tend to feel like I won't fit through passage ways or that logs/rocks would not hold my weight. I've been a lot more adventurous lately because I'm starting to trust my body. Hopefully I can get a few more outdoor adventures in before the end of the summer, though thus far it's definitely been one to remember.

Phantom Fat

2009-07-09T10:04:00.007-04:00

And every morning when she looks in the mirror while getting ready for the day, she sees her former, heavier self. “My brain says, ‘Yep, still fat.’”

I have been struggling a lot with body image this week, so when I found this article from MSNBC on so-called Phantom Fat, I felt a little less crazy for being so hard on myself. What is Phantom Fat, you ask? The article explains it as continuing to carry around and perceive the excess weight that is no longer there after significant weight loss. This has been something I can remember trying to figure out as far back as last year, right before reaching my goal weight. When shopping, I still grab clothes that are too large. I still get nervous about taking too much room in the back seat of a crowded vehicle.

When I look in the mirror and honestly don't see an enormous difference. I still have a belly. My cheeks are still chubby. I won't ever have a "bikini body." Sometimes I wonder if what I see is anything similar to what I look like physically. Last week, a friend exclaimed "You're so skinny!" after not seeing me for about six months and internally all I could think was She's just saying that to be nice.

When I was 270 lbs, I'd look at pictures and not recognize myself because what I saw in the mirror was actually smaller than what I saw in photos or videos. It was always shocking to me, so I avoided looking at photographs displaying my full body. (Note: I remember being thoroughly upset by the photo to the left, taken on a family trip to Gettysburg with my mom.) These days, the opposite is true. I see photographs of myself that others have taken and still don't recognize my body, but now it's because my self-perception is much larger than what I'm assuming I look like in reality.

I always feel like I'm looking in a fun-house mirror. My body is constantly changing and I still don't have a solid sense of what sort of space I'm taking up. The summer before beginning my weight loss venture, I vividly remember breaking not one, but two folding chairs while on on the beach. This was mortifying and has always been something I keep in mind when I don't think I can do another rep or run that final mile. Yet, the other day I found myself stressing out about my upcoming vacation, hoping that my family brings along beach chairs sturdy enough to hold my significantly smaller frame. This can easily be attributed to Phantom Fat. I spent about 20 years of my life being overweight and it's hard to break certain ways of thinking and feeling.

“We become numb to how mean we’re being to ourselves,” Ressler says.

I hope to learn to be a little nicer to my reflection in the future. I'm sure it'll take some work and time, but I think it can be done.

In Need of Rest

2009-07-07T12:03:00.003-04:00

On average, I sleep about 6 hours every night. This is 2 hours less than the recommended 8 hours of rest I should be getting. That's 14 hours of sleep I'm missing each week. I know I should be sleeping more, but life gets so hectic that I feel like I want to use as many hours in the day as I can. When I woke up this morning, I knew it was catching up with me. I biked to my apartment from Northern Liberties at 6:30 am at a snail's pace. My legs felt like jello from yesterday's run. On the car ride to work, my body practically begged for more rest. My eyes were heavy and my arms were getting tired just holding the steering wheel.

This is a problem. I work so hard to stay healthy. I eat nutritious foods and I exercise regularly, yet I can't seem to force myself to retire to bed at a decent hour. When I was losing a bulk of my weight, I was also getting a full 8 hours of sleep every night. I've read countless articles about the correlation between lack of sleep and weight gain, so I know better. This week I'm going to make a conscious effort to make it into bed at least an hour earlier. Well-being goes way beyond eating healthy and exercising. I am at my best when I'm well-rested and free from stress. The stress portion will take care of itself in three weeks when I leave for my long and much-needed vacation (!!!!).

My apologies for infrequent posting here, too. If I can make time for an extra hour of sleep, I can certainly make time to keep up with this blog. I honestly haven't concocted anything pretty or healthy enough to post lately. Last night I created an ugly (but tasty!) golden beet & rutabaga mash for dinner. In the past few days I've also made a slightly experimental cupcake to share with friends at the Lawn Chair Drive In. Mostly, though, I've been keeping it simple by eating favorites.

For breakfast:

lunch:

and dinner:

I'll report back as soon as I come up with something more exciting. Perhaps this extra 7 hours of sleep will aid in creativity!

Dinner For One

2009-06-17T21:16:00.003-04:00

I like living alone. I think everyone should try it at least once. I can watch all the Degrassi: The Next Generation that I want, eat ginger snaps for dinner, stay up until 2 am playing The Sims, have full-fledged conversations with my cats, do jumping jacks in my living room, so on and so forth. Granted, I don't do all of these things all of the time (especially the ginger snaps thing, I promise!). But the fact of the matter is, I can.

This can work against me, though. I've found that my biggest hurdle in keeping the weight off is eating when I'm at home alone. I am, more often than not, my own worst enemy. I usually stock my cabinets with good, healthy food. But one thing I've learned is that even healthy foods are only good for me in moderation. One thing that always prevents me from overeating is portioning my food out on a plate or in a bowl. I don't like eating foods from large bags or boxes. Snacks and meals feel much more official when on a plate. I rarely go back for seconds once I've plated my food.

Dinner for one is always so difficult for me. Most nights I end up making an omelet and veggie for myself. I was stockpiling one big meal for the week for a while, but found that it bored me too much and I'd wind up eating out more than I should. So, with my trusty new cookbook on hand, I've been taking on grocery items like a mad scientist.

Tonight's meal, for example, was a bit of an experiment. I found this recipe and built on it, adding a little coconut oil, summer squash, and rice sticks at the end.

The result was relatively delicious. And if it wasn't, no one would have been around to make fun of me for actually eating it!

How To Cook Everything

2009-06-08T20:13:00.005-04:00

Today was uncomfortably warm. I live on the second and third floor of my apartment building, and it gets pretty stuffy in here. So, I figured the logical thing to do would be to crank my oven up to 450 degrees and roast some veggies.

To be honest, I wasn't thinking when I found a recipe for stuffed tomatoes in Mark Bittman's How To Cook Everything Vegetarian. I just saw a delicious and easy way to use up a tomato and teeny zucchini that's been hanging out in my fridge for far too long.

This book was a gift from my thoughtful boyfriend. He has the regular edition and I often leaf through it while he makes me breakfast on the weekends. There's a lot in there, and I'm pretty sure the title is no exaggeration. What I like about these books is that the recipes are more just basic guidelines for preparation. It practically begs you to be creative with your meal, and also helps you figure out how to use all sorts of pantry items.

With the whole weight loss and maintenance process, I can't stress how important it is to communicate with friends, family and significant others what your plan is. Today I was reading a post over at 344 Pounds and it reminded me of how lucky I am to have such a strong support system. It makes having a healthy lifestyle that much easier because you feel like everyone is in it with you.

The cookbook is just an example of the support I get from my boyfriend, who also leads a healthy and active lifestyle. He also helped me muster up the courage to get on a bicycle and ride around the city this summer. Throughout all of this I have found so many sources of inspiration. I can't even begin to list them all. My sister-in-law Jess was right there with me on PeerTrainer when I decided to change my life in 2007. My dad got on board and successfully got his Type II Diabetes under control through diet and exercise. My mom lost the twenty pounds she put on after we kids left home (sorry!) and looks younger than any 50-year-old mama I know. My sister-in-law Sue lost 60? 70? 80? lbs and inspires me every day with her status updates about spinning classes and workouts on Facebook. When I started all of this, a few of my co-workers would eat salads with me in the lunchroom instead of going out for fast food. I also correspond with countless flickr contacts who were or are in the same boat as me and find so much motivation in their successes.

I could probably go on and on. But I think what it boils down to is that constant communication of our successes (and failures!) creates accountability.

At any rate, today I used my new cookbook to make a delicious dinner. I stuffed the tomato with couscous, fresh basil, and a little parmesan cheese. Then I stuffed the zucchini with couscous, mushrooms, olives, and goat cheese with a little sriracha sauce in place of the harissa Mark Bittman recommended. I took some creative liberty with the recipe and made it my own. I look forward to using this book again and again. Hopefully it will inspire me to learn to trust myself in the kitchen.

Next time I roast vegetables, however, I'll make sure my air conditioner is installed.

The Curious Kohlrabi

2009-06-02T22:17:00.006-04:00

As mentioned a few days ago, I purchased some kohlrabi at Headhouse this weekend. It's purple bulb jumped out at me from beneath the leafy greens that surrounded it on one of the produce tables. I have honestly never seen one and looked it up in Josh's copy of How To Cook Everything upon returning from the farmers' market. I had to figure out what it was before figuring out what to do with it.

I took it home, examined it and then did a little more research on preparation. Eventually I found an article from The Kitchn and opted to follow suggestion #4:

4. Roasted. When roasted in the oven, the outside of the kohlrabi caramelizes, and the flavor sweetens and mellows. You can slice the kohlrabi thin for toasted "chips" or cube it.

This seems like a cop out because it's so easy, but I really wanted to prepare it simply so I could taste the vegetable. I just peeled off it's pretty purple skin (which I now think I should have left on), sliced it really thin, tossed it in some olive oil and salt and threw it in the oven. I made sure to taste a little bit of it raw as well. After trying it both ways, think I like it better au naturale than baked.

My kohlrabi chips turned out slightly deformed and a little dark around the edges, but they tasted really great. At 36 calories per cup (excluding the olive oil), I think it's a good alternative to potatoes. If it's still available at the market next week, I'm going to pick some up and try making kohlrabi slaw for lunch. I'd like to experiment with this purple oddity it as much as I can while it's still available locally!

Peachy Keen Muffins

2009-06-02T00:39:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I picked up one single peach from the grocery store and figured I'd bake it into some muffins instead of eating it raw. The little fruit went a long way. These muffins have a lot of flavor.

Here's a quick recipe that was inspired by one I found on allrecipes.com. I made a very small batch but still plan on sharing. The recipe calls for a lot of sugar, which I think can probably afford to be halved. I'll definitely make these again, maybe next time with fresh berries or dried fruit.

Whole Wheat Peach Muffins
Makes 8 Muffins

1 1/5 c whole wheat pastry flour
1 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 c canola oil
1/4 c soy milk
1 extra large egg (lightly beaten)
1 c organic cane sugar
1 peach with skin pitted and chopped
1/4 c chopped pecans
2 tbsp unbleached white flour

Preheat oven to 400 F and place muffin liners in cups.
In a large bowl, mix whole wheat pastry flour, cinnamon, baking soda and salt. In smaller bowl, mix canola oil, soy milk, egg and cane sugar. Stir well and then pour wet ingredients into dry ingredients. Mix just until moist. In another small bowl, toss chopped peaches and pecans with white flour and then fold into batter. Spoon mixture into muffin cups.
Bake for 25 minutes or until a knife inserted into the center of the muffin comes out clean. Remove from oven and cool in muffin pan for at least 10 minutes before placing muffins on wire racks to cool completely.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

2009-06-01T00:03:00.000-04:00

I talk to my mother on the phone every weekday morning. More often than not, the weather is a topic of discussion. More often than not, I also make a lame joke that involves me saying "Well, you know they say It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia..", followed by the inevitable I can't believe I said that AGAIN sigh.

But really - this weekend's weather could not have been more perfect. This was evident as Josh and I rode our bicycles over to Headhouse Farmer's Market to pick up some fresh local produce for the week. There wasn't a cloud in the sky as we rode through the cobblestone streets in Old City. Here are two prime examples of things I would not have imagined myself doing pre-weight loss, providing further evidence that losing weight is not attributed to diets so much as an overall shift in lifestyle.

I vividly remember first purchasing a bicycle back in 2005. I attempted to take it for a ride through York, where I was living at the time. At my highest weight, I could barely go two blocks without stopping to catch my breath. Everything about bikeriding was uncomfortable. I try to remember that feeling as I effortlessly zip through the city nowadays. There is something liberating about getting on a bicycle at almost half the size I was and being able to go anywhere I want.

I guarantee if I could easily get anywhere I wanted to go, it wouldn't have been to a farmer's market. But today we went to Headhouse, where I purchased apples, spring onions, cucumbers, zucchini, strawberries and a very alien-like purple vegetable called kohlrabi (It's my wildcard, if you will). I am mystified by the kohlrabi and any suggestions on how to prepare it would be greatly appreciated.

Not only was I able to pick up fresh fruits and veggies without driving a car, but I burned a few calories making my way over there and back on two wheels. These are the little shifts in lifestyle that I think are helping me maintain my weight happily. And thinking beyond myself, these lifestyle changes are environmentally friendly.

After riding back from the market, Josh made a cheeseless frittata for us to share along with a few slices of a sourdough baguette also purchased at the market. It was a healthy, satisfying brunch that I can't take credit for, but certainly enjoyed.

I'm looking forward to what I'll find at the market throughout the summer. Right now everything is green, but soon we'll be seeing lots of colorful fruits and veggies. I might need a bigger backpack.

Sweet Success

2009-05-27T20:27:00.000-04:00

Is it really fair to devote my first entry in a supposed weight loss maintenance blog to decadent (albeit vegan) dark chocolate, cookie-filled, buttercream-topped cupcakes?

No. Not at all.

But there is a method to my madness. You see, when I started my weight loss venture back in October 2007 I couldn't even successfully prepare brownies from a box. In fact, I think a big part of how I got to be 270 lbs was because I didn't know how to cook real food. And the lovely little cupcake up there is (just about) as real as it gets. Much of the food I'd down in front of the television or hunched over my computer doing school work was from a box or a bag. The produce aisle was a colorful, mysterious jungle to me. And baking? With all the patience and precision involved, I just didn't understand why one wouldn't just run out to Sheetz and buy a package of Tastykakes.

So, I guess a big part of this blog is to depict and promote progress. The me that weighs 150 lbs and can run a 5k also knows how to bake and cook dinner that was not once frozen, stuffed into a pastry pocket, or delivered magically to my front door. I'm learning to love the process of making something from nothing and being able to enjoy eating it as well.

That being said, I only ate one of these cupcakes and maybe a few spoonfuls of batter (shh!). Thankfully, when I do try my hand at baking, I have hungry friends and family eager to consume my experimental sugary snacks. We can all enjoy a pretty little cupcake every once in a while, but one key thing I've picked up throughout the past two or so years is that moderation is key to successful weight loss and maintenance.

Now, onto the cupcakes!

Vegan Oreo Mint Cupcakes
with butter cream frosting

I baked these after a busy day. Half the batch went to my very busy boyfriend and half went to my very pregnant sister-in-law. It's the basic vegan chocolate cupcake recipe from Chow with the addition of some chopped up fresh mint leaves and crushed 365 Sandwich Cremes mixed into the batter.

I hand mixed a vegan butter cream frosting (recipe). It could probably be logged as exercise of some sort. Then I piped on some frosting with a Wilton 104 petal tip, dusted them with cookies that I crushed up with the bottom of a shot glass (ha!), and topped them with mint leaves from my little window herb garden.